XOXO

I’ve never attended a conference before in a personal capacity^[1]. Sure, I’ve worked events my employer has put on and spoken at conferences about what I do professionally, but I’d never paid money to show up somewhere just to learn, get inspired, or hang out. That changed a few weeks ago, when I visited Portland, OR to attend the final XOXO Festival.

I genuinely had one of the best times of my life at XOXO. From the first lovely moment until the very last, I was smiling like a goofball. The kind of happy where you spontaneously wiggle or catch yourself skipping a little bit. (I have to assume that other people skip involuntarily when they’re happy. Let me know.)

Why did I have such a great time?

• Andy Baio and Andy McMillan, the founders, created an event where it was possible to fully participate while having a chance of avoiding contracting COVID–19. The festival had a firm policy around masking indoors and handed out masks to folks who needed them. More importantly, it was possible and convenient to participate outdoors, with a dedicated outdoor area for viewing talks and having conversations. That safety allowed me to actually enjoy myself, rather than feel like I was fighting another skirmish in my war against getting sick with COVID–19.
• I ran into and got to catch up with internet friends who I had no idea were going, who I hadn’t seen in person since before the start of the pandemic. It was so nice to see them!
• I got to introduce myself to people who I admire and tell them exactly what their work has meant to me, which I something that I love doing. And some people were kind enough to introduce themselves to me and tell me what my work has meant to them, which catches me off guard every time it happens.
• The event self-selected for warmth and kindness. If you and another person started chatting, you were pretty much guaranteed to have a pleasant and meaningful conversation.
• The event also self-selected for people who were comfortable and sometimes eager to talk about burnout, which is something that I’ve slowly been healing from by blowing up my life. I found it really helpful to talk about my feelings around burnout.
• There was a gentleness to everyone who was there. It felt like we were all doing the work to heal after the collective traumas of the last few years. I had some particularly nice downtime sitting alone, but together, with someone who I had just met.
• Strangers paid me compliments about choices that I had intentionally made about my appearance in a way that was welcome and not creepy. This by itself was delightful, but it again reflects on the thoughtfulness of the community.

I want to thank the Andys, everyone who sponsored and volunteered to work the event, and all of the attendees for making it such a great time. In a world where many of us are more isolated than ever, I think it’s critically important to connect with people in the way that XOXO facilitated.

If you’ll let me get a little woo-woo for a second: Why are we alive if not to connect with other people? Our consciousness is so precious. It’s mind-blowing that any one of us exists and knows that we exist — let alone that we can share feelings, spaces, and thoughts with each other. To wrap oneself in the blanket of a community where that happens is so beautiful to be almost sacrosanct.

See y’all online,
<3